Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A caring note from a friend

So a friend of mine sent me this note when I was feeling a little down about my new found career..

From Yamama Raza:
Its funny how our societies are always so demanding; right now, as I am trying to make a career, carve my way into a male dominated field, the criticism i get from some people (though the more desi traditional mindset) is that I have disregard for family values, don't care enough about tradition, i wouldnt make a good wife/mother coz I'm too career focussed etc. etc. Seems like women can never get anything right!

Don't let anyone take the joys of motherhood away from you, or make you feel you're missing out on life; when I talk about my future, I always say that when I have kids, Insha Allah, nothing will matter more; no career, no education, because being the mother is where I'm absolutely irreplaceable; there's always other people to sit at a desk and do a job, but another mom who can give what a mother has to give? no way!

My sister's one of those do it all moms, but even though she's a doctor and does 'important work of saving lives' as we tend to see it, she says that its just her job, her real joy, and her meaning in life is her daughter, and she's always wishing how she could spend just a little more time with her but can't coz she's still in the whole training program..you should feel blessed that you can watch her grow, and see all the little things she does-- babies are so fascinating!

I guess I just wanted to say that there's atleast one (currently non-domestic, career-oriented) woman out there, your age, who thinks you deserve more credit and recognition, and thinks its admirable that you are so dedicated to your child. Insha Allah Emaan will grow up to be an intelligent and sensitive child like her mother, and that will be a reflection of all your hard work, and im sure it will make you happier than any paycheck ever can. And there are, i assure you, many more women like me who do look at mothers and wives who do their job well with respect and even admiration. I mean, look at me, I'll have a master's degree soon, but I have NO idea what to do when a baby cries, in fact im not even confident enough to hold a very small one properly coz i'm afraid I'll do it wrong. You take care of something so delicate, you manage such a great responsibility and do it well, and well, you are appreciated- Paradise is under the mother's feet, not the high heels clicking down the office corridor!

You know from what I see with my peers and even myself, deep inside, alot of career-track women are also insecure, also feel insignificant, also feel like their lives have no meaning and are constantly searching. Maybe it is that insecurity that makes us want to look for better, and to push ourselves to grow. I hope you don't let anyone pull you down and make you doubt yourself.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

So I was watching the "Future" episode of the BBC Planet Earth series (absolutely brilliant series by the way) and the experts were discussing how to convince the world of the necessity of conserving and protecting wildlife. It is obviously incredibly challenging to do this because as the world population increases humans are delving further into lands that have never been occupied by man before. Therefore disturbing the wildlife there and the natural events of things. One expert was saying that the problem is with overpopulation and that governments should educate people on family planning, have contraceptives easily available, educate more women and increase jobs for women. Another expert argued this position and said that overpopulation is not necessarily the problem, it's the way we spend our money. I totally agree. I mean it was calculated that if everyone on teh planet lived like Americans we would need 3 planets! That's just ridiculous. We have been brainwashed into thinking that if we wear the same outfit every week someone might think we're poor. Or if we don't have the latest gadget then we're going to be ostracized by our peers. Gosh we're such vulnerable creatures. Another expert said really a good quality of life is to be able to drink clean water, eat decent meals, breathe clean air, and have a safe place to live. It's so true!!! Just look at this whole Christmas gift buying craze. If you go to a shopping mall now..people look MISERABLE. They're spending a fortune on things they'll have to replace next year. The thing is though all of these things that we are desperate to buy are made by destructing the lives of endangered animals. For example hunting for the skin of Amour Leapords of Russia has decreased their population to a total of 40 in the wild! The U.S. might be drilling for oil in Colorado in an area that is protected for its wildlife.. but hey..need the money to make up for this war right?

I was just thinking..we really need to be more aware of our environment and of our world. We are not the only inhabitants of this planet.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Muslim woman arrested for refusing to remove hijab

Ok this is just stupid. Alhamdullilah the sister stuck to her beliefs.

Click here to watch video: Muslim arrested over scarf 

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

4 month old mom...still hormonal?

Emaan is four months now and I must say that life as a mom these past few months has been nothing less than interesting. Yes I am constantly on call, and even though my husband is very understanding and is always willing to help out, I just can’t take it when he does things differently with Emaan. I mean, the tiniest squeal and I’m there advising him. I know it’s weird because sometimes I really want someone else to watch her for a while, but at the same time I feel guilty and feel that there is no one more capable than me to take care of her. Yes, it’s not uncommon for a mother to feel that way. However, I must admit that for my sanity I must distance my self from Emaan once in a while. In fact it is more important for her than it is for me. For example, today I was having some sort of a break down. I was upset because I didn’t have a career like my friends from high school do, and when I spoke to my husband about it he responded in a way that just broke me apart. I think he said something along the lines of, “Why are you worried about something like that?” I don’t know what I wanted to hear and I was just so frustrated. Nonetheless, even though I would never in my life take it out on my daughter, I think she sensed that I was upset and that made her very fussy. At one point I had to go to the bathroom and I left her in her play gym and she cried and cried and cried till she was completely red, which she almost NEVER does. Emaan’s a very calm and patient baby so when I heard her cry like that I thought something was seriously wrong. It wasn’t. I just wasn’t handling her right even though I was still playing with her and stuff. Her aunty came over and started playing with the same toys as I do and Emaan’s face just lit up. It hurt.

You know being a mother brings about so many different emotions. It’s such a new world. I’ve always been a deep thinker, but I have never thought about myself and about my future as deeply and intensely as I have after having Emaan. I became very upset today about being a mom and thought very low of myself. I mean most of my peers are ‘professionals.’ They all have jobs, and are climbing high in their respective fields. Me on the other hand, I’m a stay-at-home mom who makes double layered chocolate cakes, and spends her afternoon organizing the spare bedroom. I know it’s a societal thing. I know that I am very easily influenced by other people and by the norm. I just need to figure out a way to be strong enough to feel good about where I am today. I mean, I have to say that when Emaan smiles at me, and babbles when I sing to her, and when I see her dozing as I nurse her..there is no happier feeling. You know it is a lot work being a mother and a wife, but it’s so rewarding. It’s just that.. it bothers me that it isn’t recognized. It bothers me so much that a woman who becomes a doctor is so much more important to society than a woman who chooses to stay at home and establish the most fundamental infrastructure in society, her family. It bothers me so much that women who are trying to plow through professions that have been long held by men down play the role that has been so crucial in our societies. I mean, I’m not saying that it isn’t important for women to fan out and include themselves in different areas, but at the same time they really shouldn’t mock those women who choose to remain the rock that holds their family together as backward women.

I hate feeling this way and I hate trying to explain my choices in life and I hate trying to defend myself. I hate being told that my life is easy and I hate it when the women around me make fun and say “I don’t stay at home all day like some people…I have to work.” Am I useless because I don’t earn money? I get so engrossed in their comments and take it so personally sometimes that I really do beat myself up about not earning money. Then I become extremely depressed because I am physically unable to leave Emaan and work. I just can’t leave her. So basically I sit in my own thoughts and let them rot in my brain until I give up and unwillingly drag myself to reality and realize that this is how it is. Ofcourse then it gets worse when the joy in my life gives my daily reward to someone else like Emaan did today with her aunty. I know I know..I’m being ridiculous. I’m a mom and I’m a wife. I stay at home and I cook and clean. Love it or hate it..that’s how it is. But for goodness sake please don’t ridicule me for my reality. Please…allow me to wrap my head around my life and let me enjoy it.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Pros and Cons of Immunization

Cons:

Vaccines found to contain mercury; are vaccines safe?
Discusses the dangers of mercury in vaccines which are linked to several diseases including autism.

The great thimerosal cover-up: Mercury, vaccines, autism and your child's health

Discusses the preserving agent used in vaccines, thimerosal.

Pros:

Haemophilus influenzae type b conjugate vaccines: a review of efficacy data
"
Conclusions. Particularly where vaccine coverage is high, it is now likely that Hib disease can be eliminated using Hib conjugate vaccines in infancy."

Immunization and Vaccines

My thoughts:

Current thoughts on the risks and benefits of immunisation.

"Despite a continuous search for safer and more immunogenic vaccines, adverse reactions still occur. Adverse reactions to vaccines are generally mild; severe events resulting in death or permanent damage are rare. In every instance, the benefits of preventing the disease far outweigh the risks of vaccination. In the early days of vaccine development, a number of accidents were associated with faulty production. Most recent problems encountered with the use of vaccines are due to programmatic errors. Because of the large number of doses administered it is probable that there will be some temporal and merely coincidental association between adverse events and vaccine administration. Immunisation has a direct protective effect for the individual and an indirect effect on herd immunity for the community. The major goal of postmarketing surveillance is the early detection of and appropriate response to adverse events in order to curtail a negative impact on immunisation programmes. Risk-benefit analyses for immunisation are faced with a number of potential difficulties; definition of the risks and benefits themselves, individual versus community risks and benefits, and the continuously evolving nature of risks with changes in disease epidemiology. Based on risk-benefit studies, for an individual just as for the community, it may not always be of interest to use the vaccine with the lowest complication rate. Good immunisation programmes should help to decrease the risk of adverse effects."

Duclos P, Bentsi-Enchill A.

Childhood Immunisation Division, Health and Welfare Canada, Ottawa, Ontario.

Emaan at 2 months and 2 weeks


My experience with Emaan's first vaccinations

Assalamu alikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

InshAllah you are all doing well. I know I haven't written for a while or posted anything, but I'm just enjoying Emaan these days. Alhamdullilah she's almost 2.5 months now and growing day by day. I'm having such an amazing time with her and honestly it feels amazing. My only problem is dealing with these overwhelming emotions towards her. The biggest example is when Emaan went to get her first set of vaccinations.

I went for my 2 month appointment to the doctor's and was completely unaware of the fact that Emaan was due for her first set of vaccinations for DPTpolio (Diptheria, Pertussis, Tuberculosis and Polio) and Hib (Haemophillus influenza type B) or the 5 in 1 as they call it. I was so unprepared that I told the R.PN that there was no way int he world Emaan was going to get her vaccinations that day so she booked an appointment for after the weekend as I had gone on a Friday. I tried to do my research over the weekend and called a friend of mine in the health field to ask if vaccinations at 2 months of age were actually necessary. She told me that if I was exclusively breastfeeding and wasn't planning on going out of the country any time soon then it wasn't really necessary. So on that Monday I called the doc's and said forget it she's not coming. Ofcourse knowing my family doc she called me back and said, "Yumna, it's really important that she gets these vaccines." I know I should have done more research but from the little research that I did I figured that the benefits outweighed the risks. Also, I was planning on going to Toronto and with so many people travelling from overseas I was getting a little paranoid thinking someone might sneeze or cough on her and she may get something. You can't imagine the crazy scenarios my brain was coming up with. Honestly, I was torn between going or not going.

Eventually..I went. Ofcourse my husband was by my side. My sister in law's son, who was born a day before mine, had an appointment before Emaan to get his vaccination. When we arrived there I went in to see my sister in law and found her son latched on to his mom drinking his milk peacefully. I was still pretty nervous. I kept thinking, my poor little baby has no idea what's coming.

As Joanne, the R.PN, came to get us she smiled reassuringly and told me not to worry. Emaan was then put on those horrible examination beds so that Joanne's intern could check her hips and measure Emaan. Ofcourse Emaan being the kind of happy child as she is, was smiling and talking away. She was just tearing my heart into pieces. Finally it was time.

I decided I was going to hold her. Emaan's father gave Emaan a kiss and a tight squeeze then passed her to me. She was to get two needles, one in each leg, and they were going to be put in simultaneously. I couldn't look. I just held Emaan tight in my lap as Omar (Emaan's dad) looked over my shoulder. "1, 2, 3..poke." I heard a short shriek then I looked down at Emaan and her entire face was blood red and her mouth wide open in the middle of a horrible cry. At that moment I began to bawl. I just cried and cried. I held my little baby close to me and just rocked her. Those of you who know me personally can understand that this was one of the most difficult things I had to endure. However, I have to say this..it took less than 2 minutes for Emaan to calm down. I fed her a little and then she was sound a sleep.

Joanne and the intern had left Omar, Emaan and I alone for a while. We had to stay there for 20 minutes any way to see if Emaan was going to get some sort of a reaction. She didn't. In the end it was all ok. But for a new mom like me I hated the experience. I have no idea what I'm going to do when Emaan has her first fall.


..I'll be posting up some research on vaccinations soon. As well as the controversy behind it.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Umm Sulaym

Assalamu alikum wa rahmatullahi wa barkatuh,

Firstly..RAMADAN MUBARAK!!!

I really wanted to do something special this Ramadan for my powerful sisters in Islam, but I'm still getting used to my precious little daughter. She's gorgeous and the apple of my eye BUT she's a handful :D, which of course is expected when you've got a little person who is COMPLETELY defendant on you.

However, here's a little story of one of our heroine's in Islam. Hopefully her story will enlighten you and open your eyes to the power of the Muslima.

Friday, August 22, 2008

My daughter Emaan :)

Assalamu alikum wa rhamatullahi wa baraktuh,

So, I haven't posted anything up for a while..but I suppose I can be excused seeing as I was having a baby and all :P! Alhamdullilah my daughter, Emaan, was born on July 25th, 2008 and 6:33pm at 6.3 lbs. The delivery was very quick alhamdullilah but it left some fluid in Emaan's lungs and also her white blood cell count was found low so she was put on a respirator and given antibiotics. Unfortunately it was a full week before we were able to bring our daughter home. Alhamdullilah she recovered very quickly seeing as she was off the respirator within 10 hours. However, she had to continue taking her full dose of antibiotics to ward off any kind of infection which is why she had to stay the full week. Although she was getting stronger as the days progressed she was still too tired to breastfeed so I had to express milk and feed her through a bottle so that it was easy for her to take it. Plus, my priority at the time was just to feed her, not necessarily get her used to breastfeeding. But as the time for her to come home grew close she did become strong enough to breastfeed and Alhamdullilah it has been 3 weeks since she has had a bottle.

With regards to the labour..like I said it was quick alhamdullilah. The pain I did experience was short-lived and alhamdullilah I had enough energy to be able to concentrate and make the experience the best experience of my life. Really and truly giving birth is one of the greatest privileges a woman has. It is the..COOLEST THING EVER :D! What I enjoyed most was to actually see my daughter hiccuping, because I would always feel her hiccupping inside me and wondered what she looked like so it was lots of fun seeing what I felt.

Anyway..so this the story.. don't worry I'll spare you the details..

So, the day before Emaan was born I had an appointment with my Ob-Gyn, Dr. Aubin. After the appointment she said that it was very possible for me to be going into labour either that night or the next day, which ofcourse shocked my husband and I since my due date was not for another 2 weeks. Nonetheless, we were quite excited..although I really tried to hold off my excitement just in case I wasn't going to go into labour for another 2 weeks since that was also a possibility. Anyway, we did some last minute shopping and went to bed. The next day Omar (my husband) went to work and I woke up and decided to clean up just in case I was going to deliver. I still don't think I was nesting because I've heard women who nest go overboard. So I cleaned the bathrooms, mopped the kitchen, cleaned the bedroom and then took a small nap. I woke up and decided to eat, then I went out for a walk, came home and took a shower. After that I felt something funny and thought my water had broken but wasn't quite sure, so I called the hospital and they advised I go and check it out. I called Omar at work and told him, "Don't get too excited, but I need to go get myself checked out at the hospital..but really don't think that this is it.." Ofcourse Omar was SUPER excited. He rushed home and packed half the fridge and we took off. During the whole trip to the hospital I kept telling Omar, "Really..seriously don't get too excited because I really don't think this is it." Well, we reach the hospital and I tell Omar not to bother taking the hospital bag. We reach the birthing unit and I tell the nurse that I think my water has broken and she tells me that there is a long line up of women waiting to be checked so I'm going to have to wait my turn (yah, not very nice). Anyway at that moment I felt a gush and my water really had broken then. So.....I told Omar to get the hospital bag while I waited in the waiting room. Not 2 minutes had passed and I was crouched on the floor with my head on the chair I was sitting on..crying! I was having contractions...and bad ones! When Omar came with the bag he saw me on the floor and knew immediately that I was having contractions. I remember telling him that I could not do it. He went and told the nurse I was feeling this way and she told him to get me to walk it off. So I took a few steps down the corridor with him and there I was on the floor again crying. Ofcourse all eyes were on me..and I was not only in pain, but I was quite embarassed crouched on the floor like that crying! Anyway, one woman called the nurse and she came and said "Oh no no, we can't have you like this here." .. Honestly, if I could I would have punched her seeing as she was the one who told Omar to get me to 'walk it off.' Anyway, she took me in and I completely forgot what I was supposed to do until she told me to breathe. After that.. well.. after that are details. However, I have to say alhamdullilah I was able to concentrate on the pain and that's what really helped. Oh and I took Nitrous Oxide..or laughing gas..yah actually I think that was what reallllly helped. Also, Omar was excellent. He didn't say a word, he just held my hand :D!

So, Emaan was born and when she was put on my chest she didn't really cry, she grunted. So they took her away from me, did some tests and said she needed to be in special care. In a matter of minutes it went from a packed room with a grunting baby to absolutely no one except me (Omar went with the baby). No..I didn't feel depressed ..I was just overwhelmed and still on adrenaline. Well, I have to say.. that night was extremely hard because I didn't have my daughter in my arms. I just cried. Alhamdullilahi rabbul 'alameen she's okay now though. That week was the longest week of our lives (Omar and I), but alhamdullilah it passed.

Now..we have our little Emaan who had brightened up our lives and given us so much joy. She will be a month old on Monday and we still can't stop oogling over her :D!

InshAllah I will put up stories about how she's growing. For now however, I have to go since I can hear her whimper for her mother :)!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Baby's Smile Lights Up Mom's Brain


Awwww you guys..how cool is this??

--

By Serena Gordon, HealthDay Reporter

posted: 07 July 2008 02:41 pm ET

(HealthDay News) -- Science may have confirmed what most moms already know: When a woman sees her baby smile, certain areas of her brain activate, stimulating happy feelings.

"There's a definite biological origin to these feelings that mothers have," said study author Dr. Lane Strathearn, an assistant professor in the department of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. "The contrast that showed the most response in the dopaminergic system of the brain was when a mother's own baby smiled compared to an unknown baby face."

"A baby's smile is a very powerful stimulus," noted Strathearn. "It makes sense biologically. Babies are completely and utterly dependent on their caregivers. It makes sense that nature would build in a system that would reinforce that relationship."

A woman's crying infant, or even her baby with a neutral expression, doesn't evoke the same type of brain response as occurs when her baby is smiling, the study found.

Strathearn said they haven't had a chance to look at the effects on fathers. His team published its findings in the July issue of Pediatrics.

For the study, the researchers recruited 28 first-time mothers during their last trimester of pregnancy. At that time, Strathearn said the women completed "attachment interviews" to assess the types of experiences they had when being raised and what type of relationship these mothers had with their own parents.

The average age of the women was 29, and most had at least a college degree. Thirteen of the women were white, seven were black, four were Hispanic, and four listed their race as other. Most of the women -- 20 -- were married.

Then the researchers met with the mothers and the babies when the babies were about 6 months old. At that time, they videotaped them and captured smiling, crying and neutral pictures of the babies. When the babies were about 10 months old, they asked the mothers to come back in for a functional MRI (fMRI) scan that shows which areas of the brain are activated.

When the mother's saw photos of their own baby's face, an extensive brain network was activated, according to the study. But, it was when mothers saw their own infant's happy face that the dopaminergic reward system in particular was activated. This system was not activated when mothers saw their own children looking either sad or neutral.

"This study is fascinating. It's a step towards unraveling the chemistry of emotion, and it begins to show the complex chemistry of the mother-child relationship," said Dr. Michael Wasserman, a pediatrician at Ochsner Health System in New Orleans.

Strathearn explained that for some mothers, there may be a problem in this natural reward system, and that may help to explain why some women never bond with their children or even abuse their children.

Source: Live Science

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Breastfeeding linked to increased intelligence

May 06, 2008

The largest randomized study of breastfeeding ever conducted reports that breastfeeding appears to raise children’s IQs and improve their academic performance, a Canadian research team has found.

In an article entitled Breastfeeding and Child Cognitive Development, published in the current issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry, lead investigator Dr. Michael Kramer reported the results from following the same group of 14,000 children for 6.5 years.

‘Our study provides the strongest evidence to date that prolonged and exclusive breastfeeding makes kids smarter,’ said Kramer, a professor of pediatrics, epidemiology and biostatistics with Montreal-based McGill University faculty of medicine.

Kramer and his colleagues evaluated the children in 31 Belarusian hospitals and clinics.
Half the mothers were exposed to an intervention that encouraged prolonged and exclusive breastfeeding. The remaining half continued their usual maternity hospital and outpatient pediatric care and follow up.

This allowed the researchers to measure the effect of breastfeeding on the children’s cognitive development without the results being biased by differences in factors such as the mother’s intelligence or her way of interacting with her baby.

The children’s cognitive ability was assessed by IQ tests administered by the children’s pediatricians and by their teachers’ ratings of their academic performance in reading, writing, mathematics and other subjects.

Both sets of measures were significantly higher in the group randomized to the breastfeeding promotion intervention.

‘The effect of breastfeeding on brain development and intelligence has long been a popular and hotly debated topic,’ said Kramer.

‘While most studies have been based on association, however, we can now make a causal inference between breastfeeding and intelligence – because of the randomized design of our study.’

Source: Archives of General Psychiatry 

Click here for article: Women's Health Matters

Benefits of Labour Pains


Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about C-sections and basically his opinion on how many women are opting for c-sections instead of natural birth in order to avoid labour pains. His answer is quite an informative one, but this is what I wanted to share with you from his answer:

...a woman is bound to feel pain when in labour, but this pain has a number of benefits:

1 – It is an expiation for sin

2 – It raises her in status if she is patient and seeks reward.

3 – The woman understands the extent of the pain suffered by other mothers.

4 – She will appreciate the extent of the blessing of good health that Allaah bestows on her.

5 – It will increase her love towards her child, because the more difficult it is to attain something, the dearer it becomes.

6 – If the child is born by via the usual, well-known route, this is better for him and the woman.

7 – Damage may be expected from this surgery, because this operation weakens the wall of the uterus etc, which may tear. And it may be successful or unsuccessful.

8 – The woman who gets used to having caesareans is unlikely to give birth in the natural manner, because that is not possible, and there is the risk that the site of the surgery may rupture.

9 – Having surgery results in having fewer children, because if the abdomen is cut three times in different places, it becomes weak and future pregnancy becomes dangerous.

Women should be patient and seek reward, and should continue to give birth in the natural way, because that is better for them in this world and in the Hereafter.

For the entire answer click here: IslamQA C-Section

photo source here

Adhkaar for labour

Assalamu alikum sisters,

For those of us who are pregnant (I'm 36 weeks alhamdullilah :)).. here's a little something I found on Islam QA. Remind whoever is going to be with you when you are giving birth to do this.. and remember to make dua!!!!

Question: Does reciting al-Zalzalah at the time of childbirth make giving birth easier? Are there any du’aa’s or adhkaar that are prescribed when giving birth to make it easier? Will du’aa’s made at the time of childbirth be answered?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Writing al-Zalzalah in saffron in a vessel, and other verses which mention that Allaah knows what is in the wombs, such as the aayaahs (interpretation of the meaning):

“No fruit comes out of its sheath, nor does a female conceive nor brings forth (young), except by His Knowledge” [Fussilat 41:47]

“Allaah knows what every female bears, and by how much the wombs fall short (of their time or number) or exceed. Everything with Him is in (due) proportion” [al-Ra’d 13:8]

- this was tried, then water was poured into the vessel and stirred until the saffron was dissolved. Then the woman in labour was given it to drink, and some of it was wiped on her stomach. Or these verses were recited into water and she was given it to drink and some of it was wiped on her stomach. Or these verses were recited over the woman whilst she was experiencing labour pains. All of this was beneficial, by the grace of Allaah.

With regard to the issue of du’aa’… the du’aa’ of a woman who is experiencing labour pains – when she has contractions – deserves to be answered, because it is a time of distress, and Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Is not He (better than your gods) Who responds to the distressed one, when he calls on Him, and Who removes the evil, and makes you inheritors of the earth, generations after generations? Is there any ilaah (god) with Allaah?” [al-Naml 27:62]

How often has Allaah answered du’aa’s at times of distress and provided a way out! And Allaah knows best.

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him.



Source: IslamQA-Labour

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Be Strong!


By Umm Hanifa

My dear sisters in Islam, a Muslim has got ONE goal in this life and it is to enter Jannah. All other goals are intermediary goals that should help us achieve that ultimate goal. So, whenever we set ourselves a goal, the first thing we should do is sincerely ask ourselves whether this will help us on our road to Jannah and this is a question that none of us will be able to answer but ourselves. Let’s take for example the goal of getting a degree. One might take a degree in English to make da’wah and another one might take the same degree but with the goal of writing romance novels. The means are the same but the goals (and intention) are completely different.

The road to Jannah, however, is not rosy-rosy. Instead, it is made of hardships. Rasulullah (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said (in the meaning):

"When Allah created Paradise, He said to Jibreel: Go and look at it. He went and looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Your might, no one who hears of it will fail to enter it. He then surrounded it with disagreeable things, and said: Go and look at it, Jibreel. He went and looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy might, I am afraid that no one will enter it. When Allah created Hell, He said: Go and look at it, Jibreel. He went and looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy might, no one who hears of it will enter it. He then surrounded it with desirable things and said: Go and look at it, Jibreel. He went, looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy might and power, I am afraid that no one will remain who does not enter it." [Abu Dawud]

In the meaning of another hadeeth,

"The (Hell) Fire is surrounded by all kinds of desires and passions, while Paradise is surrounded by all kinds of disliked undesirable things." [Agreed upon]

So, my dear sisters, if we want that noble ultimate goal that Jannah is, we must be ready for hardships and how to face them. And this is why we have to develop a strong faith and a strong character.

First of all, we have to believe and be convinced that things happen by the Will of Allah. Rasulullah (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said to Abdulllah bin Abbaas (ra):

"Be Mindful of Allaah, and you will find Him in front of you. Recognise and Acknowledge Allaah in times of ease and prosperity, and He will Remember you in times of adversity. And know that what has passed you by [and you have failed to attain] was not going to befall you, and what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that Victory comes with Patience, Relief with Affliction, and Hardship with Ease." [Tirmidhi]

In another version of the same hadeeth:

"And know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allaah had already prescribed for you. And if they were to gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allaah had already prescribed against you." [Tirmidhi]

Secondly, we have to seek Allah’s pleasure in good times and remember Him and Allah will remember us in hard times.

Thirdly, we have to seek help with patience and prayer. Allah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ اسْتَعِينُواْ بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاَةِ إِنَّ اللّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ
whose meaning is:

"And seek help with patience and prayer." [al-Baqarah:153]

Fourthly, we have to be happy with what Allah has given to us and “make do” with what we have. This does not mean that we have to live without a washing machine but, if the washing machine broke down when our husband was travelling and we had no money to either repair it or buy a new one, could we cope with it? If we had no car for a month, could we cope without it? If we couldn’t use our hand for a month, could we cope with that? If we had no running water for two days, would we be able to adapt?

It is the promise of Allah that He will test us with things like that. Allah says:

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوفْ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الاٌّمَوَالِ وَالاٌّنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَتِ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّـبِرِينَ
whose meaning is:

"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient). [Al-Baqarah: 155]

Fifthly, we, women, should be strong to raise our family. We are often tested by our children and this is a promise from Allah. He says:

إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَاللَّهُ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ
whose meaning is:

"Your wealth and your children are only a Fitnah, whereas Allah! With Him is a great reward." [At-Taghabun:15]

Whether that test comes with a lack of children, or with lots of children, this is a test for us. We do not decide how many children we have but it is Allah who decides how many children we have. How many women have less children than they hoped for and how many women have more children than they hoped for? So ask Allah to give you children and make lots of du’a for them to stay on the right path.

We are also tested through their behaviour, whether this behaviour is good or no. Shall we be thankful? Shall we seek our reward from Allah? Shall we be patient? However, at the same time, they are an immense source of rewards if we bring them up according to Allah’s laws. There is nothing better than leaving behind us a pious child. And if Allah decides to test us by taking them away from us while still young, then this child will wait for us at the door of Jannah insha Allah.

So sisters, be strong in this life because this is the way to attain Jannah and, especially, Jannat-ul-Firdaus and be strong for your children, ask Allah to give you the patience and the wisdom to bring up your children in a way that pleases Him and to give you the strength to do so because you will be tested through them, there is no doubt about it (and the tests from them only get harder and harder until they become adult).

Source: Be Strong!

Monday, July 7, 2008

82 year old grandmother inspires to memorize Qur'an



ASsalamu alikum sisters,

Very inspiring..perhaps if any of you are reading this you might want to join me and we can start a group to start memorizing also..

..

An Interview with Umm Saalih, A Grandmother Who Completed Memorizing the Qur'an

As Read by Dr. Saleh as Saleh

Al-Hamdulillaah (All-Praise is due to Allah), the One Who said (what means): "And in truth We have made the Qur'aan easy to remember; but is there any that remembers?" Surah 54: 32

Many all over the world memorize the Qur'aan, and it is not strange to see the youth memorizing the Noble Qur'aan and an early age. Al-Hamdulillaah, the One who made the Qur'aan easy for remembrance, had made it easy for Umm Saalih age 82. In an interview with Umm Saalih, she was asked the following questions:

Q1: "What was the reason that drove you to memorize the Qur'aan after so many years?"

She said, "I always hoped to memorize the Qur'aan from the time I was young. My father always used to invoke Allaah for me to become one of the memorizers of the Qur'aan, like himself and like the elder brothers of my family who memorized it. So I memorized in the beginning about three parts and then after I completed the age of thirteen, I got married and became busy with the household and the children. After I had seven children, my husband died. They (the children) were all young so I took the time to raise them and educate them, and then after they grew up and got married, I had more time for myself. Therefore, the first thing I directed myself to focus upon was the Qur'aan.

Q2: "Tell us about your journey with the Noble Qur'aan."

She said, "My younger daughter was going to high school and she was the closest of my children to me and the most beloved, because she stayed with me after her older sisters got married and got busy with their lives, and because she was a quiet girl, upright, loving, and good. In addition, she was interested in learning the Noble Qur'aan, and her teachers encouraged her.

Furthermore, she was very enthusiastic and always told me of many women who were driven by this great motivation to memorize the Qur'aan, and this is where I started."

Q3: "Tell me about your way of memorization."

She said, "We assigned ten verses (meaning her and her daughter who was going to high school). So each day after Asr, we used to sit together. She reads and I repeat after her three times. Then she explains the meaning to me, and after a while, she repeats that three times. On the next morning, she repeats them to me before she goes to school.

She recorded also the recitations of Ash Shaykh al Husary, Rahimuhullaah, repeating each verse three times and thus I continued to listen most of the time. Therefore, the next day we would go to the next ten verses if my memorization was good. Otherwise, we would postpone taking additional verses until the day after. Moreover, we assigned the day of Friday to review the memorizations of the entire week. And this was the journey from the beginning."

Then she said, "Over four years and a half, I memorized twelve juz" according to the way I described to you. Then this young daughter got married. When her husband knew of our task concerning the memorization, he rented a house close to me, close to my house, so that he could allow the continuation of the memorization. In addition, he, May Allah reward him used to encourage us and sometimes sit with us listening, explaining and teaching.

Then after three years of her marriage, my daughter got busy with the children and the household and our schedule was interrupted, but that did not make her give up. To the contrary, she sensed that my eagerness for the memorization was still established so she looked for a special good teacher to continue the journey under her supervision. So, I completed the memorization by the success of Allaah and my daughter is still working to finish the memorization of the Glorious Qur'aan. She has a little left, In Shaa Allaah Ta'aala.

Q4: "This motivation of yours, did it have an effect on other women around you?"

She said, "It really had a good strong effect. My daughters and stepdaughters were all encouraged and worked on learning and teaching the Qur'aan to their children and learning it themselves.

Q5: "After finishing the Noble Qur'aan, don't you think about working on memorizing hadith?"

She said, "Now I have memorized ninety hadith and In Shaa Allaah I will continue the journey. I depend, in my memorization, upon the tapes and upon the Qur'aan radio station. At the end of each week, my daughter comes and checks for me the memorization of three hadith, and I am trying now to memorize more.

Q6: "Over this period of memorization of the Qur'aan, did your life change? Was it affected in one way or another?"

She said, "Yes, I went through a major change and I tried always, all praise is due to Allaah, to obey Allaah before I started the memorization. However, after I started the task of memorization, I began to feel a self-comfort, a great self-comfort and all worries began to move away from me. I even reached the stage of freeing myself from all these excessive worries concerning fearing for the children and their affairs, and my morale was boosted.

I had a noble objective to work for and this is a great Ni'mah (Favor) from Allaah . upon me, since we know that some women, when they get old and they do not have a husband, and their children got married, may be destroyed by the empty time, thoughts, worries, and so forth. But, AlHamdulillaah, I didn't go through this and I made myself busy with a great task and a great objective.

Q7: "Didn't you think at one point, to join one of the circles focusing on teaching the Noble Qur'aan?"

The answer was, "Yes, some of the women suggested this to me, but I am a woman who got used to staying at home, and I don't like to go out everyday, and Al Hamdulillaah, my daughter sufficed me from all difficulty and I was so happy while I was learning from her. My daughter had set an example in goodness and righteousness which we rarely find in our days.

She started this task and journey with me while she was an adolescent and this is a critical age many people complain of. She used to pressure herself so that she could have spare time to teach me, and she used to teach me with kindness and wisdom. Her husband was a good help to her and he exerted a lot of effort. I ask Allaah . to give them success and to bring their children up on uprightness."

Q8: "What do you say to a woman of your age who wishes to learn and memorize the Qur'aan yet she is worried about it and feeling unable to?"

She said, "I say to her there their shall be no despair with the firm, sincere and truthful determination. Begin with sincerity, firm determination and dependence on Allaah at each time. And remember that at this age you should have the time for yourself. However, do not use your time to only go out or to sleep and so forth. Rather, busy yourself with righteous work.

Q9: "Now what would you say to a woman who is still young? What would you advise her?" She, may Allaah preserve her, said: "Preserve Allaah and He will preserve you. Make use of the favor of Allaah bestowed upon you from health and ways and means of comfort. Use that to memorize the Book of Allaah. This is the light which enlivens your heart, your life and your grave after you die.

And if you have a mother then exert the effort to teach her, and there is no better favor upon a mother than one of her righteous children aiding her to be close to Allaah."

Presented on the 1st of Muharram 1426, Feb 10th 2005. Originally published in Ad-Da'wah Magazine, no.1552, 17th of Rabee' Al-Awwal 1417,corresponding to Aug 1, 1996.


Mohamed Omar
Makkah, Saudi Arabia

Thursday, July 3, 2008

More than 1 in 4 deliveries in Canada are C-sections, society says

Thanks Heifa for sending this..

----

More than one in four babies born in Canada enter the world via caesarean section, a trend that increases risks in childbirth and burdens the health-care system, according to the Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada.

In a news bulletin issued Wednesday, the society says that C-sections, in addition to increasing the risk of bleeding, scarring, infection and chronic pelvic pain, can also make subsequent pregnancies riskier and more prone to complications. Many women who have had one C-section also choose or require a second one, it says.

The society cites 2007 research by the Canadian Perinatal Surveillance System that finds elective C-sections also carry with them risks such as complications from anesthesia, obstetrical wounds and cardiac arrest.

It calls on medical professionals to perform the procedures only when medically necessary.

"While the individual risk for a woman having a C-section is very small, the rising rate is certainly a concern," society president Dr. Guylaine Lefebvre said in a release.

"We fear that there may be an emerging trend towards more scheduled childbirth and routine intervention. We need to be sure that C-sections are not driven by convenience, that interventions are medically indicated and that the safety of a woman and her baby are the driving factors in these decisions."

Andre Lalonde, the society's vice-president, said that C-sections are burdening the health-care system, which already has a shortage of obstetricians and other doctors.

Between 1993 and 2006, Canada's C-section rate grew to 26.3 per cent of all deliveries from 17.6 per cent. The increase is attributed an increase in the number of obese mothers, in which more pregnancy complications necessitating a C-section can arise, and older maternal ages.

Source: CBC


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Free the Muslim Women


by Young Muslims UK

If the media and its ensuing stereotypes are to be believed then Islam does not have very much to offer women, except for a life of misery, oppression and slavery. However, if one bothers to look closely at Islam then it has an abundance to offer men and women alike.
There is little doubt that many Muslim women are subject to abuse and subjugation - without making sweeping generalizations, many women in some so called Muslim lands are denied the rights given to them by Islam - rights to which they are entitled as human beings and as women. However we must separate Muslims from Islam; we must separate theory from practice. In Islam this separation is possible - Islamic legislation has given women unprecedented status, even if Muslims did not always live up to these amazing standards.
Let us take a quick look at some of the rights of women in Islam, comparing them with some of the legislation relating to women in Britain:

Education
Considered by many these days as a basic human right, in Islam both men and women are duty bound to seek education for the Prophet Muhammad said: "The search for knowledge is a duty on every Muslim" [Bukhari]. So, while there were no places at British Universities until the late 1870s (Ox. Ill. His. Brit. p493), there have been records of Islamic Universities with women students throughout the history of Islam: Nafisah was an early 8th century hadith scholar and the great jurist Imam al-Shaf'i participated in her circle at Al-Fustaat. Shaika Shuhuda another 8th century scholar was a lecturer at Baghdad University - the Oxford and Cambridge of its time. Nazhun was a 12th century scholar and of course we cannot forget Aisha (ra), the wife of the Prophet who in the 7th century was one of the greatest relaters of hadith.
So, whilst Muslim women were attending universities and were lecturers and scholars in the 8th century, 80% of London Women and 100% of East Anglican women were illiterate in 1640 - figures taken from A. Fraser page 129 and D. Cressy page 178.

Political Participation
Women in the UK managed to gain the right to vote in 1918, but that was only for women over thirty. They did not manage to gain full voting rights equal with men until 1928. These gains were not achieved easily though - to gain the vote the Suffragettes marched, rallied, chained themselves to railings, went on hunger strike and eventually one of them jumped in front of the Royal Horse on Derby Day. Muslims women however each had the right to give or not to give their allegiance from the beginning - and this right was given them without them having to march, rally, not eat or jump in front of a horse.

Property

Up until 1801 British women did not have the right to own anything - not even themselves. For up until this time a husband had the right to sell his wife. In Sweden in 1984 a man was entitled to half his wife's earnings. Islam though has allowed women to own their own property from the outset. Everything a woman earns belongs to her. She is not a chattel to be bought and sold, but rather an individual human being, responsible to no one for her income except for God. A married woman may remind her husband: "What's his is theirs, what's hers is her own!"
It would be easy to go on with a list of the rights of women in Islam - but how does Islam really benefit women?

Islam has given women the right to be themselves! They are equal before God - on the Day of Judgment they will be answerable as individuals and cannot say "my husband told me to do it", "my, father, brother, uncle - led me astray". Nor will they be treated unfairly because they are women - women have souls in Islam - and there has never been any debate about that in Islamic history unlike in Christianity!

Islam offers to women, as it does to men, a belief in God, and this upholds everything. Belief in the Creator gives life a wholeness, and a balance, for it means that we do not look at everything in the short term - the intrinsic whole is this world and the Hereafter. This belief in God, this taqwa - God consciousness - thus shapes everything in Islam.

Men and women in Islam are protecting friends of one another; they are garments of each other hiding each other's faults. The Qur'an says:

"Verily, for all men and women who have surrendered themselves unto God, and all believing men and believing women, and all men and women who are true to their word, and all men and women who are patient in adversity, and all men and women who humble themselves before God, and all men and women who give in charity, and all self-denying men and self-denying women, and all men and women who are mindful of their chastity, and all men and women who remember God unceasingly: for all of them has God readied forgiveness of sins and a mighty reward". [Surah 33: verse 35]

This verse offers women so much; it offers them paradise on the basis of their own actions. It demands of them good character, tells both men and women to be active; and instills in them the sense of individual responsibility.

So, Islam offers to women, as it offers to men - paradise as a reward, it offers a complete picture which considers both this world and the hereafter - built solidly upon the foundation of a believe in The Creator. A relationship with one's Creator brings untold peace - for men and for women.
Islam allows women to know themselves as they are. Thus in Islam women are equal to men, but they are not the same. Men and women are equal before God - they are the protecting friends of one another, they are garments of one another, hiding one another's faults; but they are not the same. In Islam - imitation is not liberation.

Women are not men - an obvious statement, but one which is often overlooked. Islam offers a balance - which can be seen if one looks to nature - black and white, up and down, day and night etc. etc. Two halves to form a whole. Balance is absolutely vital. But, after the industrial revolution women and men are becoming more and more alike. Men have become cogs in the system. Women have also been pulled into the consumerism of an industrialized society and have been forced into the work place, but still receive no help at home - a recent study showed that 9 out of 10 men were not 'New Men' and did not help out at home (The Times, Nov. 1995).
Western society has ignored the balance and told women that for them to have status they must achieve what men achieve. Western society has created a new image for women based on the male - and this is very objectionable. Rather than highlighting her individual strengths, she is told to compete according to male criteria in order to have value. But she is not given any help to cope with her additional responsibilities. "Work, have a career to achieve status - but we will not provide crucial facilities, or time off during school holidays." We are now facing a situation where, as the President of Bosnia, Alija Ali Izebegovic, said:

"Modern civilization has disgraced motherhood... It has preferred the calling of a salesgirl, model, teacher of other people's children, secretary, cleaning woman and so on to that of mother. It has proclaimed motherhood to be slavery and promised to free women from it." [Islam Between East and West p.144-145]

So, we have put down the feminine and are saying: 'masculine criteria is the best, indeed only thing to judge by, feminine criteria is second class - useless'.
But in Islam both are equal, but they are different. So in Islam we do not have the situation where: -the logical is perceived as better than the lateral; the firm is perceived as better than the tender; the analytical is perceived as better than the intuitive. In Islam women do not say: "I'm only a housewife" - Where did this ONLY come from? - It came from taking the masculine criteria as best. Why is being in the rat-race superior to being a mother? Because we see the masculine as superior to the feminine.

Where is the spirit of the Malcolm X (Malik al-Shabazz) quote:
"If you educate a man you educate one person; if you educate a woman you educate and liberate a nation".

Women in Islam of course have a role beyond that of motherhood - one does not spend 25 years preparing for and another 25 years recovering from motherhood - but the point is do not demean motherhood; and do not demean and belittle the feminine. Islam offers to women pride in the feminine. The equal but different roles of men and women in Islam have to be understood, and in understanding - individuals can be themselves, and thus find a balance and true happiness.

And this peace and security allows and gives room for the development of a woman's potential based on her own strengths.
(courtesy of http://www.ymuk.net/)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Mom’s behaviour key to dad’s involvement in child care


Check this out..

If you actively encourage your husband to help out with the baby, he is likely to do it according to this study...yayyy..power to the mothers :D.. I love this word "power"

Mom’s behaviour key to dad’s involvement in child care

June 16, 2008

Mothers play an important role in determining how much fathers get involved in taking care of their infants, according to new research.A study of 97 couples found that fathers were more involved in the day-to-day care of their infants when they received active encouragement from their wife or partner.In fact, this encouragement was important even after taking into account fathers’ and mothers’ views about how involved dads should be, the overall quality of the couple’s parenting relationship, and how much mothers worked outside the home.In addition, fathers’ beliefs about how involved they should be in child care did not matter when mothers were highly critical of fathers’ parenting. In other words, fathers didn’t put their beliefs into practice when faced with a particularly judgmental mother.

Click here to read the rest of the article

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Bad Muslimah - Aaminah Hernandez


Bad Muslimah

Because your scarf isn’t big enough
Or it’s too colorful
You wear a skirt and blouse
Or why do you wear such a severe black abaya
Sister, you attract attention
Because you were seen eating in a restaurant
With your niqab flipped up
And you don’t wear gloves & socks

Because it looks to me like
You get your eyebrows done
And a couple of hairs have slipped out
Onto your cheek
And your lip balm is colored
And kohl makes your

eyes look sexy to me

Because you aren’t married
And you said no-thank-you
When someone offered to set you up
With a man from a different minhaj
Or who already has 14 children and several divorces
Because you said “I have a wali”
And “I’m not in a rush”
Because while in school or your career
You must be meeting many men
But you refuse to marry
And be respectable

Because you married young
And moved away
And you seem different now
And he’s the wrong color
Or his culture is weird
Or he works in the wrong kind of job
And you could have done better
If you’d just waited
Don’t tell us you’re happy
How can you be happy with a man
Who makes less than $60,000 a year?

Click here for the rest: Aaminah Hernandez

Girl sues father for not allowing her to go on field trip

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've heard. May Allah guide us to be good parents and raise our children to be respectful.

Check out the video it's really pathetic: New Parenting Horror

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

America's First Muslimah Judge


Sisters check this out:

America's First Muslimah Judge
Zakia Mahasa, Master Chancery in the Family Division of the Baltimore City Circuit Court
by Nadirah Z. Sabir, Azizah magazine.

Zakia Mahasa, the first Muslimah ever to be appointed to a judgeship in the American courts, never apologizes for who she is; instead, she gains respect and accumulates success after success by focusing on being outstanding at whatever she does.

A powerful presence in the courtroom and a dynamic woman who knows her own mind, Zakia has possessed this drive to achieve and strong sense of direction since her earliest years.

"When I was about four years old," she smiles, "I was reading the newspaper. There's a game, Wishing Well. 'You'd count the letters in a name--mine spelled out, One day, you'll be a lawyer or doctor.' So I thought, I have to do really well in kindergarten so I can get into a really good first grade!"

Since then Zakia's fortunes have multiplied with the power of that kind of determination and focus and on her belief in God. She asserts passionately that what gives her the aplomb to pursue her interests and to be herself is her Islamic faith.

"You really have to have a certainty and surety and confidence about yourself," as a Muslimah, Zakia advises. "It carries me through everything I do. My way of life [as a Muslimah] is superior to anything out there. I believe God wanted me in this position."

Zakia's study of Islam began while she was an undergraduate at the University of Maryland, where she was majoring in business management. She declared her shahadah [profession of faith] a year later.

"It was initially difficult for my mother," Zakia recalls. "I had a cousin who had a bad experience with the Nation of Islam." But Zakia knew her path and stuck to it, and by the time Ramadan came, only two weeks after her conversion, Zakia says her mother "had my meals ready at the end of the day!"

Zakia's father had more pragmatic concerns over his daughter's conversion to Islam. Since Zakia was headed toward law school at that time, he wondered whether there would be any place for a Muslimah in the circles of American law. Zakia herself was not at all worried. She explains, "Islam really does free you of all that. If God wants it for you, nobody can take it away. I felt that as long as I looked professional and really knew what I was doing," success would follow.

Zakia's father asserted that appearances are important in the legal profession, but Zakia would not compromise her faith. "When I first became Muslim, from the very beginning I was covered," she says. "At work I knew it was important to look professional. I dress well. I wear suits, skirts, dresses, blazers. They're longer, looser. I don't wear over-garments to work, but it's evident I'm being modest. My hair is always covered, but pulled back and out of the way. I did my research and I am convinced that I am properly covered; you can dress many ways and still be properly covered."

Much of her success Zakia attributes directly to this refusal to betray herself or her Islamic principles in order to be accepted by or blend in with others. Of her iman [faith], she says firmly, "I don't wear it on my sleeve. But I don't hide it. It's who I am." If you stand for what you are, even if it is different from the mainstream, Zakia believes, others will respect you.

"My being a Muslim doesn't mean I'm standoffish or reclusive. I'm very approachable," she says.

Above all, she advises, in order to earn the respect of others, "You have to be good," at what you do.

Zakia excels at what she does. As Master Chancery in the family division of the Baltimore City Circuit Court, she presides over domestic cases, hearing anywhere from nine to thirty of them a day. These cases tend to be emotional and complicated, involving abused, neglected and delinquent children. Zakia unabashedly brings a healthy Islamic outlook to her work, believing that often the best way to propagate Islam is by example.

Article from Islam for Today

(Note: Above photo of Zakia Mahasa from this link: Harvard Gazette )

Can Islam liberate women? By Madeline Bunting


Assalamu alikum sisters,

Here's a great article written by a non muslim who interviewed six Muslim British women. These sisters go on to explain how wearing the hijab and studying and following Islam allows them to be free. When covered up, the voice and mind of a woman become her points of attraction as she is not reduced to be judged by the curves of her body.

This non muslim author who is also a female nicely relays the struggle of Muslim women who are trying to bring back the Islam that was so liberating to women in the 7th century.

Here's an excerpt from the article:

Again and again, the women emphasise these two themes, evoked in richly poetic Koranic metaphor: first, the equality of the sexes in the eyes of God (the most meaningful equality of all, they argue), and second, the complementarity of the sexes. As the Koran puts it, "I created you from one soul, and from that soul I created its mate so that you may live in harmony and love."

It is true that there is plenty of material in the Koran that is more egalitarian than the western Christian tradition, which was heavily influenced by the misogyny of Greek thought. Perhaps the most fundamental is that the Islamic God does not have a gender. Arabic may refer to him by use of the male pronoun, but he is never described as "father" or "lord" as he is in the Judaeo-Christian tradition. Indeed, the Islamic God has characteristics that are expressly feminine; one of his most important "names" is al-Rahman (the All-Compassionate) from the Arabic rahma , which comes from the word rahim , meaning womb. In Islamic mysticism, the divinely beloved is female, unlike in Christian mysticism - for example, Bernini's famous statue in Rome of St Teresa of Avila is in love with the male Christ. As one Muslim women, Sartaz Aziz, writes, "I am deeply grateful that my first ideas of God were formed by Islam, because I was able to think of the Highest Power as one without sex or race and thus completely unpatriarchal."

Click here to read the full article

Women in Islam

Assalamu alikum sisters,

Sisters do not succumb to the fear displaced by ignorant cultural and societal practices that force you to shrivel away and be controlled. We muslim women, have been living under the foot for too long now and we must return to the ways of Islam that are the truth. We must return to the Islam brought to us by the Messenger (peace be upon him). We must return to the Islam that was given to us as a gift by our Lord. How? We have to educate ourselves. I say this to myself before anyone else.

You know how they say knowledge is power? It really is when you think about it. You can bring one down to his/her knees with the right words, and what words better than that in the Quran or the Sunnah? Allah has made men and women equal in Islam. No gender is better than the other. No race is better than the other. No status is better than the other. All that matters is how close you are to Allah as an obedient slave of His.

Allah has given men and women different responsibilities in different areas. At the same time He has also given different powers to men and women. As women, we must really utilize and realize these powers given to us. One of which is always considered weak, is the power of our emotions, the power of our hearts. I sincerely believe that Allah created women to be more emotional than men. At the same time Allah gave us women incredibly strong hearts. If and when used right, imagine how close we can be to our Lord in our submission to Him.

Do not be fooled sisters. There is no power greater than that of Allah's. The closer who are to Him, the better it is for you. The more tranquility you will feel, the more understanding you will have, the higher status you will achieve.

Lets educate ourselves on what Allah has said. I tell myself this before anyone else. Do help me achieve this too, as I will try and help you also.

I love you ladies for the sake of Allah :).

VBAC - A Joke

Assalamu alikum sisters,

Here's an article my childbirth instructor (who is also a doula) sent out to her class about VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). After reading this article one begins to realize the fear that us women are bombarded with. I mean, we are made to fear our own bodies. What's up with that? Many women are forced into having a C-section since it is often an easier road for a doctor to take rather than allow a woman to trust her body, take her time, and give her OWN birth rather than having it done for her. Then, once she's had a c-section the idea of her having a natural, vaginal birth afterwards is outright absurd.

Anyway, the article is written by a midwife who has assisted many very successful VBAC births that resulted in very happy moms and babies.

A Butcher's Dozen

by Nancy Wainer

[Editor's note: This article first appeared in Midwifery Today Issue 57, Spring 2001.]

I'm so tired! Exhausted. It's the wee hours of the night and it's dark and freezing cold. I am driving home slowly—darn, the roads are icy—from back-to-back births. I realize that both of the women whom I have just attended would have had cesareans had they been with typical American obstetrical care providers. Two more women who weren't cut, who birthed their babies powerfully and naturally. Two more babies who were born into calm and joy. I'm not quite so tired anymore. In fact, I begin to feel exhilarated. The roads aren't icy, they're sparkling, and I'm going to build a (pregnant, of course) snowwoman before I go inside!
I have been asked to write on VBAC—vaginal birth after cesarean. Good. I'll use this invitation to share some stories, pass along some information, give a quick retrospective history on the subject, and, OK, yes, to vent a little steam.

Click here to read the whole article


Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Why Women Cry


Assalamu alikum wa rahmatullah,

Here's a forward I got a few days ago and I enjoyed it so much I thought I would post it here:


A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"

"Because I need to" she said.

"I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," his dad answered carelessly.

The little boy, still wondering why women cry, finally asked the old wise shaikh. "He surely knows the answer", he thought. "Ya Shaikh! Why do women cry so easily?"

The Shaikh answered: "When Allah made the woman she had to be made so special. He made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. He gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that comes from her children. He gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. He gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child hurts her very badly. He gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. He gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And lastly, He gave her a tear. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, its hers."

Business of Being Born documentary by Ricci Lake


Assalamu alaikum ladies :),

Thanks Sabrina for sending this AWESOME documentary about child birth.

Basically this documentary is not about child birth itself (i.e. the science of..), rather it sheds light on the unfortunate bombardment of false birthing options given to pregnant women. This is a great documentary to learn about the power a woman when she gives birth and the power that is taken away from her by forced interventions. I bawled like crazy after watching it because I realized the sheer power Allah swt gave us women in this miraculous process of life.

!!!WARNING!!!SISTERS PLEASE WATCH THE DOCUMENTARY BY YOURSELF AS THERE ARE SCENES INAPPROPRIATE FOR OTHERS TO SEE.

CLICK HERE WATCH DOCUMENTARY