Umm Sulaym

Assalamu alikum wa rahmatullahi wa barkatuh,

Firstly..RAMADAN MUBARAK!!!

I really wanted to do something special this Ramadan for my powerful sisters in Islam, but I'm still getting used to my precious little daughter. She's gorgeous and the apple of my eye BUT she's a handful :D, which of course is expected when you've got a little person who is COMPLETELY defendant on you.

However, here's a little story of one of our heroine's in Islam. Hopefully her story will enlighten you and open your eyes to the power of the Muslima.

My daughter Emaan :)

Assalamu alikum wa rhamatullahi wa baraktuh,

So, I haven't posted anything up for a while..but I suppose I can be excused seeing as I was having a baby and all :P! Alhamdullilah my daughter, Emaan, was born on July 25th, 2008 and 6:33pm at 6.3 lbs. The delivery was very quick alhamdullilah but it left some fluid in Emaan's lungs and also her white blood cell count was found low so she was put on a respirator and given antibiotics. Unfortunately it was a full week before we were able to bring our daughter home. Alhamdullilah she recovered very quickly seeing as she was off the respirator within 10 hours. However, she had to continue taking her full dose of antibiotics to ward off any kind of infection which is why she had to stay the full week. Although she was getting stronger as the days progressed she was still too tired to breastfeed so I had to express milk and feed her through a bottle so that it was easy for her to take it. Plus, my priority at the time was just to feed her, not necessarily get her used to breastfeeding. But as the time for her to come home grew close she did become strong enough to breastfeed and Alhamdullilah it has been 3 weeks since she has had a bottle.

With regards to the labour..like I said it was quick alhamdullilah. The pain I did experience was short-lived and alhamdullilah I had enough energy to be able to concentrate and make the experience the best experience of my life. Really and truly giving birth is one of the greatest privileges a woman has. It is the..COOLEST THING EVER :D! What I enjoyed most was to actually see my daughter hiccuping, because I would always feel her hiccupping inside me and wondered what she looked like so it was lots of fun seeing what I felt.

Anyway..so this the story.. don't worry I'll spare you the details..

So, the day before Emaan was born I had an appointment with my Ob-Gyn, Dr. Aubin. After the appointment she said that it was very possible for me to be going into labour either that night or the next day, which ofcourse shocked my husband and I since my due date was not for another 2 weeks. Nonetheless, we were quite excited..although I really tried to hold off my excitement just in case I wasn't going to go into labour for another 2 weeks since that was also a possibility. Anyway, we did some last minute shopping and went to bed. The next day Omar (my husband) went to work and I woke up and decided to clean up just in case I was going to deliver. I still don't think I was nesting because I've heard women who nest go overboard. So I cleaned the bathrooms, mopped the kitchen, cleaned the bedroom and then took a small nap. I woke up and decided to eat, then I went out for a walk, came home and took a shower. After that I felt something funny and thought my water had broken but wasn't quite sure, so I called the hospital and they advised I go and check it out. I called Omar at work and told him, "Don't get too excited, but I need to go get myself checked out at the hospital..but really don't think that this is it.." Ofcourse Omar was SUPER excited. He rushed home and packed half the fridge and we took off. During the whole trip to the hospital I kept telling Omar, "Really..seriously don't get too excited because I really don't think this is it." Well, we reach the hospital and I tell Omar not to bother taking the hospital bag. We reach the birthing unit and I tell the nurse that I think my water has broken and she tells me that there is a long line up of women waiting to be checked so I'm going to have to wait my turn (yah, not very nice). Anyway at that moment I felt a gush and my water really had broken then. So.....I told Omar to get the hospital bag while I waited in the waiting room. Not 2 minutes had passed and I was crouched on the floor with my head on the chair I was sitting on..crying! I was having contractions...and bad ones! When Omar came with the bag he saw me on the floor and knew immediately that I was having contractions. I remember telling him that I could not do it. He went and told the nurse I was feeling this way and she told him to get me to walk it off. So I took a few steps down the corridor with him and there I was on the floor again crying. Ofcourse all eyes were on me..and I was not only in pain, but I was quite embarassed crouched on the floor like that crying! Anyway, one woman called the nurse and she came and said "Oh no no, we can't have you like this here." .. Honestly, if I could I would have punched her seeing as she was the one who told Omar to get me to 'walk it off.' Anyway, she took me in and I completely forgot what I was supposed to do until she told me to breathe. After that.. well.. after that are details. However, I have to say alhamdullilah I was able to concentrate on the pain and that's what really helped. Oh and I took Nitrous Oxide..or laughing gas..yah actually I think that was what reallllly helped. Also, Omar was excellent. He didn't say a word, he just held my hand :D!

So, Emaan was born and when she was put on my chest she didn't really cry, she grunted. So they took her away from me, did some tests and said she needed to be in special care. In a matter of minutes it went from a packed room with a grunting baby to absolutely no one except me (Omar went with the baby). No..I didn't feel depressed ..I was just overwhelmed and still on adrenaline. Well, I have to say.. that night was extremely hard because I didn't have my daughter in my arms. I just cried. Alhamdullilahi rabbul 'alameen she's okay now though. That week was the longest week of our lives (Omar and I), but alhamdullilah it passed.

Now..we have our little Emaan who had brightened up our lives and given us so much joy. She will be a month old on Monday and we still can't stop oogling over her :D!

InshAllah I will put up stories about how she's growing. For now however, I have to go since I can hear her whimper for her mother :)!

Baby's Smile Lights Up Mom's Brain

Awwww you guys..how cool is this??

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By Serena Gordon, HealthDay Reporter

posted: 07 July 2008 02:41 pm ET

(HealthDay News) -- Science may have confirmed what most moms already know: When a woman sees her baby smile, certain areas of her brain activate, stimulating happy feelings.

"There's a definite biological origin to these feelings that mothers have," said study author Dr. Lane Strathearn, an assistant professor in the department of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. "The contrast that showed the most response in the dopaminergic system of the brain was when a mother's own baby smiled compared to an unknown baby face."

"A baby's smile is a very powerful stimulus," noted Strathearn. "It makes sense biologically. Babies are completely and utterly dependent on their caregivers. It makes sense that nature would build in a system that would reinforce that relationship."

A woman's crying infant, or even her baby with a neutral expression, doesn't evoke the same type of brain response as occurs when her baby is smiling, the study found.

Strathearn said they haven't had a chance to look at the effects on fathers. His team published its findings in the July issue of Pediatrics.

For the study, the researchers recruited 28 first-time mothers during their last trimester of pregnancy. At that time, Strathearn said the women completed "attachment interviews" to assess the types of experiences they had when being raised and what type of relationship these mothers had with their own parents.

The average age of the women was 29, and most had at least a college degree. Thirteen of the women were white, seven were black, four were Hispanic, and four listed their race as other. Most of the women -- 20 -- were married.

Then the researchers met with the mothers and the babies when the babies were about 6 months old. At that time, they videotaped them and captured smiling, crying and neutral pictures of the babies. When the babies were about 10 months old, they asked the mothers to come back in for a functional MRI (fMRI) scan that shows which areas of the brain are activated.

When the mother's saw photos of their own baby's face, an extensive brain network was activated, according to the study. But, it was when mothers saw their own infant's happy face that the dopaminergic reward system in particular was activated. This system was not activated when mothers saw their own children looking either sad or neutral.

"This study is fascinating. It's a step towards unraveling the chemistry of emotion, and it begins to show the complex chemistry of the mother-child relationship," said Dr. Michael Wasserman, a pediatrician at Ochsner Health System in New Orleans.

Strathearn explained that for some mothers, there may be a problem in this natural reward system, and that may help to explain why some women never bond with their children or even abuse their children.

Source: Live Science

Breastfeeding linked to increased intelligence

May 06, 2008

The largest randomized study of breastfeeding ever conducted reports that breastfeeding appears to raise children’s IQs and improve their academic performance, a Canadian research team has found.

In an article entitled Breastfeeding and Child Cognitive Development, published in the current issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry, lead investigator Dr. Michael Kramer reported the results from following the same group of 14,000 children for 6.5 years.

‘Our study provides the strongest evidence to date that prolonged and exclusive breastfeeding makes kids smarter,’ said Kramer, a professor of pediatrics, epidemiology and biostatistics with Montreal-based McGill University faculty of medicine.

Kramer and his colleagues evaluated the children in 31 Belarusian hospitals and clinics.
Half the mothers were exposed to an intervention that encouraged prolonged and exclusive breastfeeding. The remaining half continued their usual maternity hospital and outpatient pediatric care and follow up.

This allowed the researchers to measure the effect of breastfeeding on the children’s cognitive development without the results being biased by differences in factors such as the mother’s intelligence or her way of interacting with her baby.

The children’s cognitive ability was assessed by IQ tests administered by the children’s pediatricians and by their teachers’ ratings of their academic performance in reading, writing, mathematics and other subjects.

Both sets of measures were significantly higher in the group randomized to the breastfeeding promotion intervention.

‘The effect of breastfeeding on brain development and intelligence has long been a popular and hotly debated topic,’ said Kramer.

‘While most studies have been based on association, however, we can now make a causal inference between breastfeeding and intelligence – because of the randomized design of our study.’

Source: Archives of General Psychiatry 

Click here for article: Women's Health Matters

Benefits of Labour Pains

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about C-sections and basically his opinion on how many women are opting for c-sections instead of natural birth in order to avoid labour pains. His answer is quite an informative one, but this is what I wanted to share with you from his answer:

...a woman is bound to feel pain when in labour, but this pain has a number of benefits:

1 – It is an expiation for sin

2 – It raises her in status if she is patient and seeks reward.

3 – The woman understands the extent of the pain suffered by other mothers.

4 – She will appreciate the extent of the blessing of good health that Allaah bestows on her.

5 – It will increase her love towards her child, because the more difficult it is to attain something, the dearer it becomes.

6 – If the child is born by via the usual, well-known route, this is better for him and the woman.

7 – Damage may be expected from this surgery, because this operation weakens the wall of the uterus etc, which may tear. And it may be successful or unsuccessful.

8 – The woman who gets used to having caesareans is unlikely to give birth in the natural manner, because that is not possible, and there is the risk that the site of the surgery may rupture.

9 – Having surgery results in having fewer children, because if the abdomen is cut three times in different places, it becomes weak and future pregnancy becomes dangerous.

Women should be patient and seek reward, and should continue to give birth in the natural way, because that is better for them in this world and in the Hereafter.

For the entire answer click here: IslamQA C-Section

photo source here

Adhkaar for labour

Assalamu alikum sisters,

For those of us who are pregnant (I'm 36 weeks alhamdullilah :)).. here's a little something I found on Islam QA. Remind whoever is going to be with you when you are giving birth to do this.. and remember to make dua!!!!

Question: Does reciting al-Zalzalah at the time of childbirth make giving birth easier? Are there any du’aa’s or adhkaar that are prescribed when giving birth to make it easier? Will du’aa’s made at the time of childbirth be answered?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Writing al-Zalzalah in saffron in a vessel, and other verses which mention that Allaah knows what is in the wombs, such as the aayaahs (interpretation of the meaning):

“No fruit comes out of its sheath, nor does a female conceive nor brings forth (young), except by His Knowledge” [Fussilat 41:47]

“Allaah knows what every female bears, and by how much the wombs fall short (of their time or number) or exceed. Everything with Him is in (due) proportion” [al-Ra’d 13:8]

- this was tried, then water was poured into the vessel and stirred until the saffron was dissolved. Then the woman in labour was given it to drink, and some of it was wiped on her stomach. Or these verses were recited into water and she was given it to drink and some of it was wiped on her stomach. Or these verses were recited over the woman whilst she was experiencing labour pains. All of this was beneficial, by the grace of Allaah.

With regard to the issue of du’aa’… the du’aa’ of a woman who is experiencing labour pains – when she has contractions – deserves to be answered, because it is a time of distress, and Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Is not He (better than your gods) Who responds to the distressed one, when he calls on Him, and Who removes the evil, and makes you inheritors of the earth, generations after generations? Is there any ilaah (god) with Allaah?” [al-Naml 27:62]

How often has Allaah answered du’aa’s at times of distress and provided a way out! And Allaah knows best.

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him.

Source: IslamQA-Labour

Be Strong!

By Umm Hanifa

My dear sisters in Islam, a Muslim has got ONE goal in this life and it is to enter Jannah. All other goals are intermediary goals that should help us achieve that ultimate goal. So, whenever we set ourselves a goal, the first thing we should do is sincerely ask ourselves whether this will help us on our road to Jannah and this is a question that none of us will be able to answer but ourselves. Let’s take for example the goal of getting a degree. One might take a degree in English to make da’wah and another one might take the same degree but with the goal of writing romance novels. The means are the same but the goals (and intention) are completely different.

The road to Jannah, however, is not rosy-rosy. Instead, it is made of hardships. Rasulullah (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said (in the meaning):

"When Allah created Paradise, He said to Jibreel: Go and look at it. He went and looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Your might, no one who hears of it will fail to enter it. He then surrounded it with disagreeable things, and said: Go and look at it, Jibreel. He went and looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy might, I am afraid that no one will enter it. When Allah created Hell, He said: Go and look at it, Jibreel. He went and looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy might, no one who hears of it will enter it. He then surrounded it with desirable things and said: Go and look at it, Jibreel. He went, looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy might and power, I am afraid that no one will remain who does not enter it." [Abu Dawud]

In the meaning of another hadeeth,

"The (Hell) Fire is surrounded by all kinds of desires and passions, while Paradise is surrounded by all kinds of disliked undesirable things." [Agreed upon]

So, my dear sisters, if we want that noble ultimate goal that Jannah is, we must be ready for hardships and how to face them. And this is why we have to develop a strong faith and a strong character.

First of all, we have to believe and be convinced that things happen by the Will of Allah. Rasulullah (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said to Abdulllah bin Abbaas (ra):

"Be Mindful of Allaah, and you will find Him in front of you. Recognise and Acknowledge Allaah in times of ease and prosperity, and He will Remember you in times of adversity. And know that what has passed you by [and you have failed to attain] was not going to befall you, and what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that Victory comes with Patience, Relief with Affliction, and Hardship with Ease." [Tirmidhi]

In another version of the same hadeeth:

"And know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allaah had already prescribed for you. And if they were to gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allaah had already prescribed against you." [Tirmidhi]

Secondly, we have to seek Allah’s pleasure in good times and remember Him and Allah will remember us in hard times.

Thirdly, we have to seek help with patience and prayer. Allah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ اسْتَعِينُواْ بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاَةِ إِنَّ اللّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ whose meaning is:

"And seek help with patience and prayer." [al-Baqarah:153]

Fourthly, we have to be happy with what Allah has given to us and “make do” with what we have. This does not mean that we have to live without a washing machine but, if the washing machine broke down when our husband was travelling and we had no money to either repair it or buy a new one, could we cope with it? If we had no car for a month, could we cope without it? If we couldn’t use our hand for a month, could we cope with that? If we had no running water for two days, would we be able to adapt?

It is the promise of Allah that He will test us with things like that. Allah says:

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوفْ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الاٌّمَوَالِ وَالاٌّنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَتِ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّـبِرِينَ whose meaning is:

"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient). [Al-Baqarah: 155]

Fifthly, we, women, should be strong to raise our family. We are often tested by our children and this is a promise from Allah. He says:

إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَاللَّهُ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ whose meaning is:

"Your wealth and your children are only a Fitnah, whereas Allah! With Him is a great reward." [At-Taghabun:15]

Whether that test comes with a lack of children, or with lots of children, this is a test for us. We do not decide how many children we have but it is Allah who decides how many children we have. How many women have less children than they hoped for and how many women have more children than they hoped for? So ask Allah to give you children and make lots of du’a for them to stay on the right path.

We are also tested through their behaviour, whether this behaviour is good or no. Shall we be thankful? Shall we seek our reward from Allah? Shall we be patient? However, at the same time, they are an immense source of rewards if we bring them up according to Allah’s laws. There is nothing better than leaving behind us a pious child. And if Allah decides to test us by taking them away from us while still young, then this child will wait for us at the door of Jannah insha Allah.

So sisters, be strong in this life because this is the way to attain Jannah and, especially, Jannat-ul-Firdaus and be strong for your children, ask Allah to give you the patience and the wisdom to bring up your children in a way that pleases Him and to give you the strength to do so because you will be tested through them, there is no doubt about it (and the tests from them only get harder and harder until they become adult).

Source: Be Strong!