Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Free the Muslim Women


by Young Muslims UK

If the media and its ensuing stereotypes are to be believed then Islam does not have very much to offer women, except for a life of misery, oppression and slavery. However, if one bothers to look closely at Islam then it has an abundance to offer men and women alike.
There is little doubt that many Muslim women are subject to abuse and subjugation - without making sweeping generalizations, many women in some so called Muslim lands are denied the rights given to them by Islam - rights to which they are entitled as human beings and as women. However we must separate Muslims from Islam; we must separate theory from practice. In Islam this separation is possible - Islamic legislation has given women unprecedented status, even if Muslims did not always live up to these amazing standards.
Let us take a quick look at some of the rights of women in Islam, comparing them with some of the legislation relating to women in Britain:

Education
Considered by many these days as a basic human right, in Islam both men and women are duty bound to seek education for the Prophet Muhammad said: "The search for knowledge is a duty on every Muslim" [Bukhari]. So, while there were no places at British Universities until the late 1870s (Ox. Ill. His. Brit. p493), there have been records of Islamic Universities with women students throughout the history of Islam: Nafisah was an early 8th century hadith scholar and the great jurist Imam al-Shaf'i participated in her circle at Al-Fustaat. Shaika Shuhuda another 8th century scholar was a lecturer at Baghdad University - the Oxford and Cambridge of its time. Nazhun was a 12th century scholar and of course we cannot forget Aisha (ra), the wife of the Prophet who in the 7th century was one of the greatest relaters of hadith.
So, whilst Muslim women were attending universities and were lecturers and scholars in the 8th century, 80% of London Women and 100% of East Anglican women were illiterate in 1640 - figures taken from A. Fraser page 129 and D. Cressy page 178.

Political Participation
Women in the UK managed to gain the right to vote in 1918, but that was only for women over thirty. They did not manage to gain full voting rights equal with men until 1928. These gains were not achieved easily though - to gain the vote the Suffragettes marched, rallied, chained themselves to railings, went on hunger strike and eventually one of them jumped in front of the Royal Horse on Derby Day. Muslims women however each had the right to give or not to give their allegiance from the beginning - and this right was given them without them having to march, rally, not eat or jump in front of a horse.

Property

Up until 1801 British women did not have the right to own anything - not even themselves. For up until this time a husband had the right to sell his wife. In Sweden in 1984 a man was entitled to half his wife's earnings. Islam though has allowed women to own their own property from the outset. Everything a woman earns belongs to her. She is not a chattel to be bought and sold, but rather an individual human being, responsible to no one for her income except for God. A married woman may remind her husband: "What's his is theirs, what's hers is her own!"
It would be easy to go on with a list of the rights of women in Islam - but how does Islam really benefit women?

Islam has given women the right to be themselves! They are equal before God - on the Day of Judgment they will be answerable as individuals and cannot say "my husband told me to do it", "my, father, brother, uncle - led me astray". Nor will they be treated unfairly because they are women - women have souls in Islam - and there has never been any debate about that in Islamic history unlike in Christianity!

Islam offers to women, as it does to men, a belief in God, and this upholds everything. Belief in the Creator gives life a wholeness, and a balance, for it means that we do not look at everything in the short term - the intrinsic whole is this world and the Hereafter. This belief in God, this taqwa - God consciousness - thus shapes everything in Islam.

Men and women in Islam are protecting friends of one another; they are garments of each other hiding each other's faults. The Qur'an says:

"Verily, for all men and women who have surrendered themselves unto God, and all believing men and believing women, and all men and women who are true to their word, and all men and women who are patient in adversity, and all men and women who humble themselves before God, and all men and women who give in charity, and all self-denying men and self-denying women, and all men and women who are mindful of their chastity, and all men and women who remember God unceasingly: for all of them has God readied forgiveness of sins and a mighty reward". [Surah 33: verse 35]

This verse offers women so much; it offers them paradise on the basis of their own actions. It demands of them good character, tells both men and women to be active; and instills in them the sense of individual responsibility.

So, Islam offers to women, as it offers to men - paradise as a reward, it offers a complete picture which considers both this world and the hereafter - built solidly upon the foundation of a believe in The Creator. A relationship with one's Creator brings untold peace - for men and for women.
Islam allows women to know themselves as they are. Thus in Islam women are equal to men, but they are not the same. Men and women are equal before God - they are the protecting friends of one another, they are garments of one another, hiding one another's faults; but they are not the same. In Islam - imitation is not liberation.

Women are not men - an obvious statement, but one which is often overlooked. Islam offers a balance - which can be seen if one looks to nature - black and white, up and down, day and night etc. etc. Two halves to form a whole. Balance is absolutely vital. But, after the industrial revolution women and men are becoming more and more alike. Men have become cogs in the system. Women have also been pulled into the consumerism of an industrialized society and have been forced into the work place, but still receive no help at home - a recent study showed that 9 out of 10 men were not 'New Men' and did not help out at home (The Times, Nov. 1995).
Western society has ignored the balance and told women that for them to have status they must achieve what men achieve. Western society has created a new image for women based on the male - and this is very objectionable. Rather than highlighting her individual strengths, she is told to compete according to male criteria in order to have value. But she is not given any help to cope with her additional responsibilities. "Work, have a career to achieve status - but we will not provide crucial facilities, or time off during school holidays." We are now facing a situation where, as the President of Bosnia, Alija Ali Izebegovic, said:

"Modern civilization has disgraced motherhood... It has preferred the calling of a salesgirl, model, teacher of other people's children, secretary, cleaning woman and so on to that of mother. It has proclaimed motherhood to be slavery and promised to free women from it." [Islam Between East and West p.144-145]

So, we have put down the feminine and are saying: 'masculine criteria is the best, indeed only thing to judge by, feminine criteria is second class - useless'.
But in Islam both are equal, but they are different. So in Islam we do not have the situation where: -the logical is perceived as better than the lateral; the firm is perceived as better than the tender; the analytical is perceived as better than the intuitive. In Islam women do not say: "I'm only a housewife" - Where did this ONLY come from? - It came from taking the masculine criteria as best. Why is being in the rat-race superior to being a mother? Because we see the masculine as superior to the feminine.

Where is the spirit of the Malcolm X (Malik al-Shabazz) quote:
"If you educate a man you educate one person; if you educate a woman you educate and liberate a nation".

Women in Islam of course have a role beyond that of motherhood - one does not spend 25 years preparing for and another 25 years recovering from motherhood - but the point is do not demean motherhood; and do not demean and belittle the feminine. Islam offers to women pride in the feminine. The equal but different roles of men and women in Islam have to be understood, and in understanding - individuals can be themselves, and thus find a balance and true happiness.

And this peace and security allows and gives room for the development of a woman's potential based on her own strengths.
(courtesy of http://www.ymuk.net/)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Mom’s behaviour key to dad’s involvement in child care


Check this out..

If you actively encourage your husband to help out with the baby, he is likely to do it according to this study...yayyy..power to the mothers :D.. I love this word "power"

Mom’s behaviour key to dad’s involvement in child care

June 16, 2008

Mothers play an important role in determining how much fathers get involved in taking care of their infants, according to new research.A study of 97 couples found that fathers were more involved in the day-to-day care of their infants when they received active encouragement from their wife or partner.In fact, this encouragement was important even after taking into account fathers’ and mothers’ views about how involved dads should be, the overall quality of the couple’s parenting relationship, and how much mothers worked outside the home.In addition, fathers’ beliefs about how involved they should be in child care did not matter when mothers were highly critical of fathers’ parenting. In other words, fathers didn’t put their beliefs into practice when faced with a particularly judgmental mother.

Click here to read the rest of the article

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Bad Muslimah - Aaminah Hernandez


Bad Muslimah

Because your scarf isn’t big enough
Or it’s too colorful
You wear a skirt and blouse
Or why do you wear such a severe black abaya
Sister, you attract attention
Because you were seen eating in a restaurant
With your niqab flipped up
And you don’t wear gloves & socks

Because it looks to me like
You get your eyebrows done
And a couple of hairs have slipped out
Onto your cheek
And your lip balm is colored
And kohl makes your

eyes look sexy to me

Because you aren’t married
And you said no-thank-you
When someone offered to set you up
With a man from a different minhaj
Or who already has 14 children and several divorces
Because you said “I have a wali”
And “I’m not in a rush”
Because while in school or your career
You must be meeting many men
But you refuse to marry
And be respectable

Because you married young
And moved away
And you seem different now
And he’s the wrong color
Or his culture is weird
Or he works in the wrong kind of job
And you could have done better
If you’d just waited
Don’t tell us you’re happy
How can you be happy with a man
Who makes less than $60,000 a year?

Click here for the rest: Aaminah Hernandez

Girl sues father for not allowing her to go on field trip

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've heard. May Allah guide us to be good parents and raise our children to be respectful.

Check out the video it's really pathetic: New Parenting Horror

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

America's First Muslimah Judge


Sisters check this out:

America's First Muslimah Judge
Zakia Mahasa, Master Chancery in the Family Division of the Baltimore City Circuit Court
by Nadirah Z. Sabir, Azizah magazine.

Zakia Mahasa, the first Muslimah ever to be appointed to a judgeship in the American courts, never apologizes for who she is; instead, she gains respect and accumulates success after success by focusing on being outstanding at whatever she does.

A powerful presence in the courtroom and a dynamic woman who knows her own mind, Zakia has possessed this drive to achieve and strong sense of direction since her earliest years.

"When I was about four years old," she smiles, "I was reading the newspaper. There's a game, Wishing Well. 'You'd count the letters in a name--mine spelled out, One day, you'll be a lawyer or doctor.' So I thought, I have to do really well in kindergarten so I can get into a really good first grade!"

Since then Zakia's fortunes have multiplied with the power of that kind of determination and focus and on her belief in God. She asserts passionately that what gives her the aplomb to pursue her interests and to be herself is her Islamic faith.

"You really have to have a certainty and surety and confidence about yourself," as a Muslimah, Zakia advises. "It carries me through everything I do. My way of life [as a Muslimah] is superior to anything out there. I believe God wanted me in this position."

Zakia's study of Islam began while she was an undergraduate at the University of Maryland, where she was majoring in business management. She declared her shahadah [profession of faith] a year later.

"It was initially difficult for my mother," Zakia recalls. "I had a cousin who had a bad experience with the Nation of Islam." But Zakia knew her path and stuck to it, and by the time Ramadan came, only two weeks after her conversion, Zakia says her mother "had my meals ready at the end of the day!"

Zakia's father had more pragmatic concerns over his daughter's conversion to Islam. Since Zakia was headed toward law school at that time, he wondered whether there would be any place for a Muslimah in the circles of American law. Zakia herself was not at all worried. She explains, "Islam really does free you of all that. If God wants it for you, nobody can take it away. I felt that as long as I looked professional and really knew what I was doing," success would follow.

Zakia's father asserted that appearances are important in the legal profession, but Zakia would not compromise her faith. "When I first became Muslim, from the very beginning I was covered," she says. "At work I knew it was important to look professional. I dress well. I wear suits, skirts, dresses, blazers. They're longer, looser. I don't wear over-garments to work, but it's evident I'm being modest. My hair is always covered, but pulled back and out of the way. I did my research and I am convinced that I am properly covered; you can dress many ways and still be properly covered."

Much of her success Zakia attributes directly to this refusal to betray herself or her Islamic principles in order to be accepted by or blend in with others. Of her iman [faith], she says firmly, "I don't wear it on my sleeve. But I don't hide it. It's who I am." If you stand for what you are, even if it is different from the mainstream, Zakia believes, others will respect you.

"My being a Muslim doesn't mean I'm standoffish or reclusive. I'm very approachable," she says.

Above all, she advises, in order to earn the respect of others, "You have to be good," at what you do.

Zakia excels at what she does. As Master Chancery in the family division of the Baltimore City Circuit Court, she presides over domestic cases, hearing anywhere from nine to thirty of them a day. These cases tend to be emotional and complicated, involving abused, neglected and delinquent children. Zakia unabashedly brings a healthy Islamic outlook to her work, believing that often the best way to propagate Islam is by example.

Article from Islam for Today

(Note: Above photo of Zakia Mahasa from this link: Harvard Gazette )

Can Islam liberate women? By Madeline Bunting


Assalamu alikum sisters,

Here's a great article written by a non muslim who interviewed six Muslim British women. These sisters go on to explain how wearing the hijab and studying and following Islam allows them to be free. When covered up, the voice and mind of a woman become her points of attraction as she is not reduced to be judged by the curves of her body.

This non muslim author who is also a female nicely relays the struggle of Muslim women who are trying to bring back the Islam that was so liberating to women in the 7th century.

Here's an excerpt from the article:

Again and again, the women emphasise these two themes, evoked in richly poetic Koranic metaphor: first, the equality of the sexes in the eyes of God (the most meaningful equality of all, they argue), and second, the complementarity of the sexes. As the Koran puts it, "I created you from one soul, and from that soul I created its mate so that you may live in harmony and love."

It is true that there is plenty of material in the Koran that is more egalitarian than the western Christian tradition, which was heavily influenced by the misogyny of Greek thought. Perhaps the most fundamental is that the Islamic God does not have a gender. Arabic may refer to him by use of the male pronoun, but he is never described as "father" or "lord" as he is in the Judaeo-Christian tradition. Indeed, the Islamic God has characteristics that are expressly feminine; one of his most important "names" is al-Rahman (the All-Compassionate) from the Arabic rahma , which comes from the word rahim , meaning womb. In Islamic mysticism, the divinely beloved is female, unlike in Christian mysticism - for example, Bernini's famous statue in Rome of St Teresa of Avila is in love with the male Christ. As one Muslim women, Sartaz Aziz, writes, "I am deeply grateful that my first ideas of God were formed by Islam, because I was able to think of the Highest Power as one without sex or race and thus completely unpatriarchal."

Click here to read the full article

Women in Islam

Assalamu alikum sisters,

Sisters do not succumb to the fear displaced by ignorant cultural and societal practices that force you to shrivel away and be controlled. We muslim women, have been living under the foot for too long now and we must return to the ways of Islam that are the truth. We must return to the Islam brought to us by the Messenger (peace be upon him). We must return to the Islam that was given to us as a gift by our Lord. How? We have to educate ourselves. I say this to myself before anyone else.

You know how they say knowledge is power? It really is when you think about it. You can bring one down to his/her knees with the right words, and what words better than that in the Quran or the Sunnah? Allah has made men and women equal in Islam. No gender is better than the other. No race is better than the other. No status is better than the other. All that matters is how close you are to Allah as an obedient slave of His.

Allah has given men and women different responsibilities in different areas. At the same time He has also given different powers to men and women. As women, we must really utilize and realize these powers given to us. One of which is always considered weak, is the power of our emotions, the power of our hearts. I sincerely believe that Allah created women to be more emotional than men. At the same time Allah gave us women incredibly strong hearts. If and when used right, imagine how close we can be to our Lord in our submission to Him.

Do not be fooled sisters. There is no power greater than that of Allah's. The closer who are to Him, the better it is for you. The more tranquility you will feel, the more understanding you will have, the higher status you will achieve.

Lets educate ourselves on what Allah has said. I tell myself this before anyone else. Do help me achieve this too, as I will try and help you also.

I love you ladies for the sake of Allah :).

VBAC - A Joke

Assalamu alikum sisters,

Here's an article my childbirth instructor (who is also a doula) sent out to her class about VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). After reading this article one begins to realize the fear that us women are bombarded with. I mean, we are made to fear our own bodies. What's up with that? Many women are forced into having a C-section since it is often an easier road for a doctor to take rather than allow a woman to trust her body, take her time, and give her OWN birth rather than having it done for her. Then, once she's had a c-section the idea of her having a natural, vaginal birth afterwards is outright absurd.

Anyway, the article is written by a midwife who has assisted many very successful VBAC births that resulted in very happy moms and babies.

A Butcher's Dozen

by Nancy Wainer

[Editor's note: This article first appeared in Midwifery Today Issue 57, Spring 2001.]

I'm so tired! Exhausted. It's the wee hours of the night and it's dark and freezing cold. I am driving home slowly—darn, the roads are icy—from back-to-back births. I realize that both of the women whom I have just attended would have had cesareans had they been with typical American obstetrical care providers. Two more women who weren't cut, who birthed their babies powerfully and naturally. Two more babies who were born into calm and joy. I'm not quite so tired anymore. In fact, I begin to feel exhilarated. The roads aren't icy, they're sparkling, and I'm going to build a (pregnant, of course) snowwoman before I go inside!
I have been asked to write on VBAC—vaginal birth after cesarean. Good. I'll use this invitation to share some stories, pass along some information, give a quick retrospective history on the subject, and, OK, yes, to vent a little steam.

Click here to read the whole article


Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Why Women Cry


Assalamu alikum wa rahmatullah,

Here's a forward I got a few days ago and I enjoyed it so much I thought I would post it here:


A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"

"Because I need to" she said.

"I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," his dad answered carelessly.

The little boy, still wondering why women cry, finally asked the old wise shaikh. "He surely knows the answer", he thought. "Ya Shaikh! Why do women cry so easily?"

The Shaikh answered: "When Allah made the woman she had to be made so special. He made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. He gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that comes from her children. He gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. He gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child hurts her very badly. He gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. He gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And lastly, He gave her a tear. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, its hers."

Business of Being Born documentary by Ricci Lake


Assalamu alaikum ladies :),

Thanks Sabrina for sending this AWESOME documentary about child birth.

Basically this documentary is not about child birth itself (i.e. the science of..), rather it sheds light on the unfortunate bombardment of false birthing options given to pregnant women. This is a great documentary to learn about the power a woman when she gives birth and the power that is taken away from her by forced interventions. I bawled like crazy after watching it because I realized the sheer power Allah swt gave us women in this miraculous process of life.

!!!WARNING!!!SISTERS PLEASE WATCH THE DOCUMENTARY BY YOURSELF AS THERE ARE SCENES INAPPROPRIATE FOR OTHERS TO SEE.

CLICK HERE WATCH DOCUMENTARY